Exclusive: Almighty Allah's letter to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Right before the dawn BBC fake NEWS team received a well-packaged parcel.

the mailing address is :

"To Mr.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,
Presidential Palace of Tehran,
Islamic Republic of Iran"

And the sender: Almighty Allah of Heaven

Gosh! It's just huge, so in no time we contacted Mr.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, with his permission we have an exclusive show beamed publicizing the letter content, and here it is

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Oh my dear child

Haven't seen you in a blue moon, I miss you sooooo much! It's thrilling to read your last letter, you're too pious and polite. But I guess casual tone works better between us, so next time don't be formal. don't call me "Almighty something", just Allah please. Okay?

Now tell me, is everything going alright? I know, I know, running a country is astronomically more energy-consuming than feeding family. Rest assure you're the apple of my eye, you're blessed!

I'm so proud of you. You're really something now, back then you're only a slum kid. Nobody saw you when you're invisible, now everybody goes after you. what do people call you in Iran? "Your Majesty" or "Mr.President"?

I heard You're blogging! That's just incredible!! Well well, its a little bit mind-boggling for the world to see a conservative like you to embrace the technology of bitchy Christians and Zionists, (Sorry, be religious correct next time). I'm not net-savvy but I do come online every so often, uploading photos onto flickr.com, having Wikipedia as consul and I run a heaven channel on Youtube, now the most clicked site on earth. what a magic virtual life!

However I have to complain a bit, you know what? I hit a wall whenever I surf Internet here in your land. I can't access to flickr, youtube, blogspot, you name it, where are they? Some of your men told me in secret that you blocked them all, Oh God forbidden, tell me you won't. I try so hard to persuade them to believe that only an insane guy would actually do that. "How can you expect a man who himself is a huge blogging fan to actually bar his beloved people from enjoying blogging" I said to them. My child, don't take that groundless suspicion too serious, you just tell them

"Even Almighty Allah is on MSN."

Those who're conceiving to snuff out Internet in the name of purifying Islamic culture won't prevail if we the enlightened start to act!

You also surprised me by not deleting your enemy's comment on blog front-page, that comment begins with "You're an evil leader....", For God's sake, how can he defame you in such way, I couldn't bear it, could you? However I think we both have to bear mounting critisms. muffling dissents is not the way we Islams do business. To delete or not, that is a question, I'm so glad you had a perfect answer! Some Islamists pretend to be liberal, there's nothing beneath their gilded but fragile cover of freedom and democracy.

Btw, you haven't told me which music genre are you in, to me, I'm okay with most genres, of course, rock music is NOT my favorite. I haven't heard Iran singing for a pretty while, only occasionally from the underground, how come? I'd recommend you some video clips on Youtube produced by Iranian talented artists, they're damn good, kudos to them, you may check them out, oh sorry, you don't know English, thats sad, but its okay I will urge Youtube to work out Persian version asap!

My herald sent to your land came back yesterday and told me you're a bit under weather, I'm kinda worried. you said you are having tough time with the opposition at home, what I more concerned about is -- are you bullied by the west, I told you not to set fire on their yard, those western neighbors are not so friendly but at least we can live peacefully, you don't have to befriend them but don's make enemies, they're brawny, remember Iraqi war? sometimes we can even work with the west on more important agenda such as climate change. Oh yes, you talked about the sucking winter in Iran, I would make you assured that the catastrophic blizzard is not due to meteorological weapon designed by Zionists aimed to wipe Islam out of map, this time you're indeed paranoid.

I've read a few pieces of news covering energy shortage in your land, please send my sympathy to your people., but I'm confused -- Iran is bestowed with natural gas and crude oil, why do you have to suffer this, no refinery? international sanction? oh come on, tell me boy, why not building refineries then everything is done? I'm not so into human science but it seems that an uranium enrichment project is far more sophisticate than a refinery, isn't it?

Alright, that's all in my mind, I wish you well, boy!

Yours

Almighty Allah

This Week On Screen with Yuri Izumo

Good evening, everyone, now "This week On Screen", bought to you by BBC fake NEWS. Our program would not be here without our local sponsors so we start by saying thanks.------------------------------------------------------------------------

The screen hit doldrums but new season of "No Movie For a Time" made a comeback, exhilarating huge fans, breathing in fresh air into the faltering flick industries and made a buzz among movie makers and play writers.

It is hailed as a great introspection work scooping out the ill psyche of human being, but some critics say this is just a naive, biased, and ridiculous interpretation of the world through dismal eyes of playwriter Alexander Tenses. Remember Alexander wrote In the show -- "Our days are counted because of cowards of our time", implicitly referring to those big shots who are ready to bow down to Aliens, that words could be offending to some as "Allah is cursed" is to Muslims.

Just now we talked to Alexander Tenses over the phone and this is what he has to respond.

"......those cowards in my blacklist is natural to be critics, they have done something underhand, they want secrets covered up, they standed out as if they were defending for human nature and our dignity, its nothing to do with dignity, what's the point of the human dignity without human conscience? This move, I hope is the voice-carrier of the brave mass who are stranded in the world of confusion and deceit, but never walk in trepidation to face alien threats."

That is Alexander Tenses, the screenplay writer of blockbuster "No Movie for a Time", the movie's debut was in 2007 when the global panic over aliens firstly spreaded and when film industry is sliding into a dying mess with shrinking market and unstable production, that all is well illustrated in the movie title. Panic however set a fine tone for thrilling, serious, and dark themed movies whose function is not entertainment but education, and Alexander seized the chance to make his work a super-hit.

Some may wish to see "No Movie for a Time" nominated for this year Academy Award, but Alexander says he has no intention to run the game.

"When good men feel powered, and bad guys shamed, my job is done."

That's for today's edition of This Week On Screen, I'm Yuri Izumo, thanks for tuning in.