Right before the dawn BBC fake NEWS team received a well-packaged parcel.
the mailing address is :
"To Mr.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,
Presidential Palace of Tehran,
Islamic Republic of Iran"
And the sender: Almighty Allah of Heaven
Gosh! It's just huge, so in no time we contacted Mr.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, with his permission we have an exclusive show beamed publicizing the letter content, and here it is
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Oh my dear child
Haven't seen you in a blue moon, I miss you sooooo much! It's thrilling to read your last letter, you're too pious and polite. But I guess casual tone works better between us, so next time don't be formal. don't call me "Almighty something", just Allah please. Okay?
Now tell me, is everything going alright? I know, I know, running a country is astronomically more energy-consuming than feeding family. Rest assure you're the apple of my eye, you're blessed!
I'm so proud of you. You're really something now, back then you're only a slum kid. Nobody saw you when you're invisible, now everybody goes after you. what do people call you in Iran? "Your Majesty" or "Mr.President"?
I heard You're blogging! That's just incredible!! Well well, its a little bit mind-boggling for the world to see a conservative like you to embrace the technology of bitchy Christians and Zionists, (Sorry, be religious correct next time). I'm not net-savvy but I do come online every so often, uploading photos onto flickr.com, having Wikipedia as consul and I run a heaven channel on Youtube, now the most clicked site on earth. what a magic virtual life!
However I have to complain a bit, you know what? I hit a wall whenever I surf Internet here in your land. I can't access to flickr, youtube, blogspot, you name it, where are they? Some of your men told me in secret that you blocked them all, Oh God forbidden, tell me you won't. I try so hard to persuade them to believe that only an insane guy would actually do that. "How can you expect a man who himself is a huge blogging fan to actually bar his beloved people from enjoying blogging" I said to them. My child, don't take that groundless suspicion too serious, you just tell them
"Even Almighty Allah is on MSN."
Those who're conceiving to snuff out Internet in the name of purifying Islamic culture won't prevail if we the enlightened start to act!
You also surprised me by not deleting your enemy's comment on blog front-page, that comment begins with "You're an evil leader....", For God's sake, how can he defame you in such way, I couldn't bear it, could you? However I think we both have to bear mounting critisms. muffling dissents is not the way we Islams do business. To delete or not, that is a question, I'm so glad you had a perfect answer! Some Islamists pretend to be liberal, there's nothing beneath their gilded but fragile cover of freedom and democracy.
Btw, you haven't told me which music genre are you in, to me, I'm okay with most genres, of course, rock music is NOT my favorite. I haven't heard Iran singing for a pretty while, only occasionally from the underground, how come? I'd recommend you some video clips on Youtube produced by Iranian talented artists, they're damn good, kudos to them, you may check them out, oh sorry, you don't know English, thats sad, but its okay I will urge Youtube to work out Persian version asap!
My herald sent to your land came back yesterday and told me you're a bit under weather, I'm kinda worried. you said you are having tough time with the opposition at home, what I more concerned about is -- are you bullied by the west, I told you not to set fire on their yard, those western neighbors are not so friendly but at least we can live peacefully, you don't have to befriend them but don's make enemies, they're brawny, remember Iraqi war? sometimes we can even work with the west on more important agenda such as climate change. Oh yes, you talked about the sucking winter in Iran, I would make you assured that the catastrophic blizzard is not due to meteorological weapon designed by Zionists aimed to wipe Islam out of map, this time you're indeed paranoid.
I've read a few pieces of news covering energy shortage in your land, please send my sympathy to your people., but I'm confused -- Iran is bestowed with natural gas and crude oil, why do you have to suffer this, no refinery? international sanction? oh come on, tell me boy, why not building refineries then everything is done? I'm not so into human science but it seems that an uranium enrichment project is far more sophisticate than a refinery, isn't it?
Alright, that's all in my mind, I wish you well, boy!
Yours
Almighty Allah
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